It's Fine, I'm Fine (*I'm Lying*)

Have you gotten comfortable with stifling your voice into It’s fine or I’m fine mantra and don’t even remember how to speak up anymore?

You are not alone.

Sometimes keeping the peace at all costs is engrained into our brains, but it makes us unhappy and unhealthy and enough is enough.

It’s time to free yourself and stand in your power.

It takes courage to do this, I know personally. I was stuck in this pattern and masking my feelings. I dealt with some very tough and heavy life experiences and on top of it, my work was no longer fulfilling me. I became frustrated, yet the answer to the outside questions were still, “I’m fine.” I didn’t want to “burden” people with my problems and by doing that, no one really knew was I was dealing with inside. What a lonely place to be and a place maybe you’ve found yourself in from time to time.

Your relationship with your spouse is fine, it is what it is, its been this way for a long time –why is that okay? You deserve more.

You don’t get recognized at work for your dedication; you don’t get the promotion or the raise –why didn’t you speak up? You deserve more.

Healthy, meaningful friendships seem to be a thing of the past –why haven’t you made new connections? You deserve more.

You are interrupted often, people talk over you and you don’t feel heard –why haven’t you stood in your worth? You deserve more.

You are unable to say “no” when asked to help others even if it conflicts with your already busy schedule –why haven’t you embraced the word? You deserve more.

For me, it felt like it was my protection to cover my hurt and pain, when all that was doing was making me miserable. Luckily, I came to a point where I said no more and decided to change my entire career path to align with my true passions. Helping others was my goal and I tossed doubt and fear aside and became a certified coach.

Boundaries were something I learned quickly and once I started setting them in my life, the difference was amazing.

Here’s how to stop I’m fine conversations today. Start small…

Set boundaries. Not taking work calls in the evening.
Be honest. Kindly declining an event invite.
Stand in your value. Having a private meeting with your boss.
Trust your own abilities. Going for the new job.
Empower yourself to speak up. Building confidence and trying new things.
Face your fears. Do something out of your comfort zone.
Build healthy and strong relationships. Be open, honest and vulnerable.

Small steps can lead to big results and I’m here to support you if you need help in the process.

Reach out anytime.